#snes Clout & Instant Gratification

\\ The Curse of Clout & Instant Gratification//

How many of us drape ourselves in the newest, coolest shot we can afford to cover how bad we feel about ourselves for the approval of others who don't give a fuck about us?

I AM VERY GUILTY OF THIS

After we take everything off and we are by ourselves, we are stressed, scarred, scared, depressed, anxious, lost, etc. Our real selves come to light and we tend to be EMPTY. Wanting more but taking less than. Hence in this piece, you see al the glitz and glamor, yet there's usually nobody behind it all. Spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on depreciating things that don't give us that feeling we long for: Love. I have struggled with instant gratification for at least the last 10 years. I've let myself get too far into thinking that " The more I own of a higher standard, the better of a person I'll feel like and in turn, be." I wanted to feel important to my peers. I wanted to feel like what I wore made me a better person because I was wearing sought after clothes and shoes; jewelry, accessories; whatever I could buy that was the hottest thing in my mind to fill the void within myself of being accepted by others. Within this last year of healing, self realization, spending time to myself, and accepting where I am in my personal life, I've come to realize that many of the things that I used to believe about being "me" to other people was a lie. I don't need other people to compliment me or validate me in order to be myself and love who I am. I've learned that the confidence behind the flash has to be at the same level regardless of what I make financially or what I put on my body. We as black people have to learn how to love ourselves so that we don't have to think that people only love us for what we have or what we can do for them, based off of an appearance we can control.

There's nothing wrong with enjoying the fruits of our labor or even buying designer clothes. The issue is to the EXTENT that we do these things and why. It's very common yet unhealthy that we as a group with spend money blindly on items so that we can feel accepted by others, yet we won't invest into our own physical health or especially our mental health. And when it comes to the era of clout and instant gratification, we'll get something new and while that gives us some surface level joy, it's not until the next big purchase, or acceptance from others that we really feel like we've accomplished something. Our people need to learn how to have that feeling about ourselves in any setting. The feeling that we are worth something even if our clothes and cars aren't worth as much. The feeling that we are truly loved and confident without someone else having to be impressed and say something about it. I am constantly fighting these battles along with my brothers and sisters because not only am I a victim of this mindset, but I know my people are hurting from living this kind of lifestyle. Because what's the point of having things that are worth more than how we fell about ourselves? Why have an $100,000 car or salary if we still feel empty and worthless inside?